There’s something beautiful about the unexpected connections we make in life, especially the ones that come from places we never thought to look. Recently, I reached out to someone I once thought I’d never have a reason to speak to: the girl who dated my ex-boyfriend immediately after me. Actually, she met him before our relationship ended, and they started dating while we were still together. At first glance, there were a million reasons for me to hold a grudge— to feel resentment or even jealousy. When we talked, I learned that she had no idea he and I were still together when they met. He had matched with her on a dating app, which, of course, he shouldn’t have even been on since we were exclusive (or so I believed). Honestly, this whole experience has solidified one thing for me: I’m done using the damn dating apps. I’d rather meet someone the old-fashioned way— like at Kroger, in the same aisle, reaching for the same box of pasta noodles at the exact same time. Romantic, right? I’ve seen how these situations can easily turn women into rivals, but that’s not who I am. I’m a girl’s girl through and through. Something deep inside told me to reach out to her, to hear her side of the story, and to connect. Trusting my gut wasn’t easy, but it reminded me of the importance of following your instincts— especially when they nudge you toward kindness. And let me tell you: I’m so glad I did.
As we talked, we pieced together a timeline of events, sharing details about our experiences. What struck me most wasn’t the drama of the past, but her kindness and genuineness. She’s also a “girl’s girl” through and through— the kind of woman who looks out for other women, who protects them and stands with them instead of against them. And in the process of getting to know her, I realized something profound: life is far too short to hold onto resentment when there’s an opportunity to build something better. I’m inspired by her strength, her honesty, and her heart. In fact, I could see us becoming really good friends. Is that weird? Maybe. Do I care? Not one bit.
Megan Moroney’s song “The Girls” has been on repeat for us lately, and it feels like the perfect anthem for this unexpected bond. There’s a verse that goes:
God bless the girls who bring home the wine / When you need a friend, no, they don’t think twice / They let you go on for the ten-thousandth time / And tell the same stories about the same shitty guy / They’re easy to keep and harder to find / God bless the girls / And thank God for mine.
Those lyrics hit differently now. They’re a reminder that true friendship isn’t about perfection or convenience; it’s about showing up. It’s about listening, understanding, and holding space for each other— whether it’s over a glass of wine or a phone call that stretches into hours. These connections, even the ones that come from the messiest of circumstances, are gifts. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “To know even one soul has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.” This connection reminds me of that truth. By choosing kindness and understanding, I’ve learned that the act of lifting someone else up doesn’t just help them— it heals you, too. Isn’t that a kind of success worth striving for? They remind us of who we are, and they teach us how to love and forgive, not just others but also ourselves.
Society often pits women against each other, especially in situations like this one. We’re told to see each other as competition, to tear each other down instead of building each other up. But this experience has shown me how much stronger we are when we choose to hold hands instead of holding grudges. But what if we chose differently? What if, instead of competing, we supported each other? What if we recognized the strength in solidarity and the power in kindness? This experience has shown me how freeing it can be to let go of bitterness and lean into connection. It’s not about excusing anyone’s actions or rewriting the past; it’s about deciding what kind of future you want to create.
I’m grateful for this woman, for her willingness to be open and vulnerable with me, and for the bond we’ve started to build. She’s reminded me that being a “girl’s girl” is about more than friendship; it’s a way of life. Funny enough, we’ve never even met in person. Yet, her willingness to open up and share her perspective has inspired me to reflect on the kind of relationships I value in my life. The women I’m lucky enough to know constantly remind me what true connection feels like. They challenge me to be my best self, support me during tough times, and set a high standard for how I expect to be treated in any relationship— romantic or otherwise. If someone can’t appreciate me the way my girls do (family and friends), then I simply don’t need that energy in my life. Something in my gut told me to reach out to her, and I’m so glad I trusted that instinct. And who knows? Maybe he’ll stumble across this post one day and recognize himself in the story. If he does, well… hi, we’re doing great without you. Don’t worry, we’ve got the timeline sorted now, and honestly, you might even learn a thing or two about how to treat people. But hey, no hard feelings… just maybe stick to self-reflection instead of swiping on dating apps for a while, okay? It’s about lifting each other up, even when the world tries to pull us apart. Being a girl’s girl means celebrating other women’s successes without jealousy, offering genuine support during tough times, and fostering a sense of community where kindness thrives over competition. It’s about knowing that another woman’s shine doesn’t dim your own, and embracing the beauty of solidarity over rivalry. It’s about recognizing each other’s flaws and strengths and deciding to show compassion regardless.
So here’s to the girls who show up with wine when you need it, who listen to the same stories a thousand times without complaint, who remind you that you’re not alone in the mess of it all. Here’s to the girls who remind us of our strength, our worth, and our ability to thrive. God bless the girls. And thank God for mine.
Very well said❤️